tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post2556198327651026730..comments2023-10-18T04:56:07.965-07:00Comments on Spiritual Sensuality: What about sexual asynchronicity?Jemila Kwonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01451421686332228381noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-26101774842366850262010-05-03T15:47:17.021-07:002010-05-03T15:47:17.021-07:00you know something about strange sexual disordersyou know something about <a href="http://www.strangesexualdisorders.com/" title="strange sexual disorders" rel="nofollow">strange sexual disorders</a>Imitrexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17821699481308796162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-57160764589112216392007-09-10T06:04:00.000-07:002007-09-10T06:04:00.000-07:00This is a touchy subject and each couple has to fi...This is a touchy subject and each couple has to find their own equilibrium. There's so much I'd like to say but due to time limits I'll just say this. It's not always just about "getting some". Taking care of yourself can often bring faster physical release. It's also about wanting to share the spiritual experience of surrendering control in orgasm in the loving presence of your spouse. I've been married long enough that we have each taken turns at being the higher desire spouse. I see that longing for each other as good and yet living in a state of longing can be very costly, even difficult, even painful. I don't have a neatly packaged answer to offer. -SWSensuous Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01684099151087715262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-72589300089613732132007-09-02T06:09:00.000-07:002007-09-02T06:09:00.000-07:00Excuse me for intruding, but my wife and I have a ...Excuse me for intruding, but my wife and I have a 'no pressure' rule that works. Especially hard after I give her a full massage, but it's character-building. Our situation is complicated by menopause. But I think the problem comes down to a lack of seduction in marriage, from both sides, but mainly from the male side. Marriage is not a licence to have sex whenever you want it. WE males forget to pursue our lovers after marriage as if we coralled them when we married them. You shouldnever stop pursuing (courting) your wife. (My wife taught me that.) Men have got to work hard at it. By seduction I mean "making love" in the sense of making the partner feel loved and lovable and attractive and relaxed... If my wife feels like she is "falling in love", she becomes more sexually interested. Fantasy games, like pretending we are going on a first date, can make the whole evening magical. Sex then takes care of itself. I apologise for blundering into your conversation, but I couldn't help myself. I learned these lessons the hard way - I lost my wife twice and won her back both times, the second time through Divine intervention. I wrote about what I learned in a short book called Man Overboard: A Self Defense Course for Men In Marriage. It's available on www.savemarriagebook.com, but I have posted the manuscript on http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com so you can have access to it with my compliments. It might be useful for husbands. I hope to halve the divorce rate, with God's help. The greatest thing that a man can do for his children is to love his wife. Once again, my apologies for intruding.Michael Kielyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03055910278717563390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-65027896729491763122007-07-12T05:06:00.000-07:002007-07-12T05:06:00.000-07:00I think the sexual aspect of my marriage is greatl...I think the sexual aspect of my marriage is greatly valued by my husband and I as one way of maintaining the integrity of our bondedness as a couple. We each accept responsibility for monitoring the quality and quanity of this connection...because we enjoy it immensely and because we believe it is important to maintain the vitality of this part of our relationship as well as we can given our ages and the demands on our energies. While it is not the only way we keep a sense of connection alive between us, our sexual activity is given a high priority in this regard and I believe that both my husband and I work on maintaining an awareness about our contact...how long has it been?, what might the other appreciate or enjoy?, what new thing might we try to keep interest alive?, allowing fantasy to inspire our connection and our desire for it. I think we approach it less as "duty" and more as a creative outlet that has wonderful benefits on every level in our relationship and for each of us individually.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05678190043874793171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-7396866794750326092007-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:002007-07-08T19:01:00.000-07:00becky, I couldn't get the link to work, but the st...becky, I couldn't get the link to work, but the story sounds familiar, yet profoundly disturbing.<BR/><BR/>It's upsetting to hear about the sanctity of marriage being used as a cover for power-play and exploitation.<BR/><BR/>Lydia, I hear you girl. I have been there in a some seasons of life. I have also been at points where I loved my husband, but felt either too tired or just not interested in sex. So I've felt both sides of it.<BR/><BR/>I think the key is to be able really sense that it's not anything wrong with you if the other person is not in a sexual mood, and then feel free to take care of yourself.Jemila Kwonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01451421686332228381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-73068712684842879362007-07-07T16:46:00.000-07:002007-07-07T16:46:00.000-07:00Jemila, you have no idea how applicable this is to...Jemila, you have no idea how applicable this is to my marriage. <BR/><BR/>The traditional roles are flipped in my house: I'm the one who is more interested in doing it; most days, Drew would rather cuddle. :)<BR/><BR/>We have a similar arrangement to your "no pressure" rule. Which can be highly frustrating for me during those times in which his interest is even lower than normal (i.e. when his Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks in each winter), but I have no interest in sex that comes from guilt or coercion. <BR/><BR/>I have no good answers here. But this is one of the big struggles in our relationship. It's really tough to be the one that pursues only to be rejected over and over again.Lydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15989935167850012642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37709608.post-37863159707232252452007-07-07T12:49:00.000-07:002007-07-07T12:49:00.000-07:00Not everyone would agree:"By getting married, the ...Not everyone would agree:<BR/><BR/>"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape"<BR/><BR/>Makes my blood boil again to think of Phyllis Schlafly saying that married women cannot be sexually assaulted by their husbands.<BR/><BR/>I don't see how that belief can be remotely healthy or enjoyable.<BR/><BR/>Story: http://www.sunjournal.com/story/205234-3/LewistonAuburn/Schlafly_cranks_up_agitation_at_Bates/#BeckyMPHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02863225357840747007noreply@blogger.com