Saturday, June 16, 2007

What about sexual asynchronicity?

So she wants to do it and he'd rather watch football and eat chips. Or he wants to do it and she'd like a bath and a soothing backrub that is not linked to sexual expectations. Or she wants to do it but not with him because he hasn't been emotionally available. Or he wants to do it, but not with her because he doesn't feel respected. So I'm stereotyping a bit. But what are your thoughts, ladies, on a Christian approach to sexual asynchronicity? How does one love another as oneself in such cases? In Christian circles I have heard so much about "the wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's to his wife," implying that the person who wants to have sex is always right. It seems to me though, that rape is worse than sexual deprivation, although neither is desirable, and feeling forced to have sex because someone else wants to, even you don't strikes me as sexually exploitive and possible a form of rape.

In my marriage, our rule is, "no pressure, just love," meaning that while naturally one person may feel frustrated or disappointed if the other partner isn't up for lovemaking, that it is of the utmost importance to honor that person by not imposing oneself sexually upon them, or asking them to willingly submit to sex when they don't want to. This has worked pretty well for us. I certainly find myself more attracted to someone who doesn't expect me to "put out" just because he wants some, every time he wants some - so the end result is I want to do it more than if I felt I "had to" to be a good wife.

How do you understand sexual giving in your relationship and what do you make of Paul's thoughts on the matter?

What are your views and experiences?

Friday, June 15, 2007


Which of the following best describes the work of the Spirit in your life? Explain your selection.

- The Spirit has not been a major part of my spiritual life.

- I am beginning to see signs of the Spirit's presence in my life.

- The Spirit is an integral part of my spiritual life.

As above, so below.

Blessings on every one of you.

Monday, June 11, 2007


I apologize for not posting the next item from the Spiritual Formation Workbook in so long. Between work and engaging in the rites of spring on my little slice of heaven on earth here in the midwest, I've been terribly busy. Thanks for continuing to engage in the discussion...I've not been ignoring it and enjoy the thoughtful contributions each of you make.


"(God) has chosen to cultivate the gospel soil of people's lives so that they bear spiritual fruit: 'love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control' (Gal. 5:22) ...God lives with his people through the Holy Spirit."

Question: Of the Holy Spirit's fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control), which has grown and matured in your life? Which has yet to bloom and grow?