Thursday, May 24, 2007

Marriage Without Sex?

A recent conversation on The Ooze has wandered into Spiritual Sensuality territory.

I'm posing this question here out of honest curiousity, not malice. I have no interest in embarrassing or shaming anyone, and I am more than willing to remove the link if necessary. :)

The question:

Is sexal intimacy necessary in order to have a healthy marriage?

Barring situations that are either extreme (disability, etc) or short term and mutually agreed-upon (a la 1 Corinthians 7:5*), I've always thought it was pretty necessary.

What do you think?

* 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Monday, May 07, 2007


I've been thinking about the importance of human touch. It's one of my love languages.

I have a nephew who is about six weeks older than Avriana. I met him for the first time over Easter and was amazed to see how much he craved touch at such a tender age - with it, he was calm and content. Without it, he almost always grew irritable and fussy.

There's also the skin hunger phenomenon among people who live in institutional settings or people who have recently lost a loved one and have few friends: they crave human contact. This hunger can gnaw so deeply into a person's soul that it is often mistaken for a mental or physical illness.

So far, I've been pretty lucky - I was born into a family that is comfortable expressing love via hugs, backrubs, etc. I married someone who is generally the same way. But I know that there are many out there who are living far different lives.

Some questions - answer as few or as many as you'd like.

Do you have enough access to human touch? What do you think needs to change in western culture in order to help more people who are elderly or isolated receive the touch they need? What can the church do to help?

(Edited to add: In case it wasn't clear, I'm referring to the non-sexual varities of touch in this post. I picked the "sexuality and gender relations" label because it appeared to be the closest match to this topic.)