Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bedroom Outtakes

We've all had our fair share of romantic comedy. Most of us have experienced a sub-category of romantic comedy, which might be called, "bedroom outtakes," "married with children," or sexual (literally) inside jokes. The classic is the orgasmic fart. What if it turned out that's the trumpet heralding the return of Christ? Talk about feeling eager for a white robe, and fast. In a twinkling of an eye might not be soon enough.

If you have kids or spend significant time with anyone who does, you know that many children's toys are specifically designed to foster ADD by making bling ding sounds with flashing lights at the slightest touch. Sort of like most guys, I guess. Now these toys normally require stimulation, but when their batteries are about to go, they sometimes spontaneously erupt into bling ding versions of Mary had a little lamb and doo da da doot da doo! Once, while our daughter was napping on the weekend, my husband and I snuck away to the bedroom and began enjoying each other in that fabulous, semi-quicky way that teenagers do when they know their parents might walk in at any moment. Except of course in our case, it was the three-year-old in the next room who made us feel mischevious, like we were getting away with something delicious. Things were heating up, as they do, and the moment was coming closer, coming...cumming, CUMMING!! And at that very second, "doo da da doot da do!"

Go ahead and share your own bedroom outtakes, or at least reminisce over them with a giggle or two.


Julie said...

well,I can that one "good" thing that came from Mark Driscoll's recent comments is that they provided some rather amusing content for sexual banter... which I am sure was his intent entirely...

Jemila Monroe said...

So...you're saying Mark Driscoll has improved your sex life? I guess, "All things work to the good of those who love Him," applies here?

I genuinely hope someday Mark is able to accept himself as a gay man, find forgiveness and friendship with his wife and children and discover the real meaning of grace.