Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Pursued or In Pursuit?

For some of us it's more natural to pursue -- a position where we feel more power over when, where and how we love, seduce, and undress (both our bodies and souls) in presence of another human being.

For others of us, we feel most comfortable responding to the romantic wooing of another. We delight in having feelings elicited from us, in feeling special, prized, beloved, and we shun baring ourselves sexually and emotionally vulnerable first -- lest we be rejected and wilt.

At either end of the spectrum, I think there's a control issue. On one end are those of us who need to be in control, or else we feel disempowered, even violated. Cross over to the other side of the spectrum and you'll discover those of us who feel afraid of being in control and shun sexual power, finding safety in submission.

Maybe a few of us have uncovered the secrets of balance, of sharing and embracing a dance in which each partner leads in turns, allowing each twist of passion to open a new opportunity for both loving power and joyous submission.

Where do you fit in? What's helped you in your journey toward shunning nor coveting sexual power, but being alive to the dance of initiative and surrender?

2 comments:

Sally said...

I guess the answer is both and rather than either or- it depends on the time and the mood of both lovers.

There have been times when no ammount of wooing would bring about any response from me but aggravation ( I had 5 children under 8!), but now I play both roles.

Jemila Kwon said...

Thanks, Sally. What do you think caused the shift to discovering you can play both roles?

Wow, five kids under eight -- how do you do it all?